Tuesday, March 20, 2012

John Carter from Mars

FINALLY! The movie I'd been waiting for since the early 90s! The spinoff of Noah Wyle's character from ER!I wasn't surprised they couldn't get John Stamos or George Clooney to reprise their roles for this film, but would it have been so hard to get Noah Wyle?


This movie is about an solider from the civil war who gets sucked in to another civil war on the planet Mars, reluctant hero meets hot girl and risks his life for her story. SO you know story of my life. Don't judge me, like you've never chosen sides of an alien civil war for a attractive alien girl.......Sam Worthington knows what I'm talking about.

That brings up my point, this is Avatar but take out the ferngully aspects of Avatar. So you know everything that made the movie terrible and unwatchable. No Sam Worthington wasn't that bad I mean the environmental bullshit. Ok, remove Sam Worthington AND the environmental bullshit and this is the movie you have. From what I understand this book was actually a pretty big influence on Avatar and the original Star Wars. It shows, I mean the synopsis I did was almost Avatar. As a result I'm not going to go to far in to the plot, like I said remove ferngully from Avatar and you have John Carter. BUT fortunately there's a lot I hated!

Acting.....AWFUL. was it really the acting or was it a script with difficult dialogue and people trying to act alien.........probably a combination of both actually. John Carter I think showed an emotion about 3/4ths of the way through the movie. It had a fairly good cast, Mark Strong (Sherlock Holmes) Willem Dafoe (from like every movie ever) Thomas Haden Church (Ned and Stacey) but those are mostly voice actors, it actually took me forever to figure out who Willem Dafoe actually was in this film, and I didn't realize Thomas Haden Church was in it until I saw the end credits. Mark Strong on the other hand I don't even think he was in costume.

seriously, I'm not even sure which one of those is from the movie anymore. Taylor Kitsch, if I'm not mistaken this is his first starring role. Again, I think he might of portrayed an emotion? I'll give him credit for half an emotion at least.

Apart from that, this movie is a lot of fun, but it's more of a kids movie. Something I probably would've enjoyed a lot more when I was 7. Kinda like "Legend" a movie that if you see it as a child you'll love it for the rest of your adult life, but while again I did ENJOY this film, I can't give it more than an "ehhhh" on my movie scale, roughly translated to a 3 outta 5. Which is sad because the director, Andrew Stanton has an solid resume as a director, with Wall-e and Finding Nemo, as well as an incredible resume as a writer, like every pixar movie ever. Go see it if you've got a child that wants to, they'll love it.


NeverTooEarlyMP said...

You can always tell when someone doesn't like a film by how many other films they try to talk about instead. And you went so far as to include tv show, so I know I'm in trouble! Still, I think I liked your review more than I would have liked this film, so you did a great job.

But I really just dropped by to say Welcome to the LAMB and I look forward to reading more of your stuff in the future.

Resmo112 said...

I think I enjoyed your review of my review of this film more than I enjoyed this film........

Thanks for stopping by man, I look forward to checking out your blog.

R.Hamilton said...

I enjoyed this review, pretty funny I must say and I agree with most of your points. I didn't think Taylor Kitsch was all that bad though, he was pretty good in those scenes where he is trying to escape to get back to "my cave of gold!"- obsessed much with the gold?? I found the girl who played Dejah Thoris to be way worse and super annoying! Her fake British accent and annoying nerd qualities "I know about science and stuff" irritated me to no end. Overall I was kinda like "meh" as well and I agree, kids would probably think its great.

Resmo112 said...

deciding between who was worse, the girl who played Dejah and Taylor Kitsch is like deciding which STD i'd rather have! But you are right he played crazy well, I should edit my review to say he was emotionless except when crazy! . Part of my problem with this review is I really WANTED this movie to be good, based on a good book, excellent director, etc but I just couldn't bring myself to do it!

R.Hamilton said...

Yeah I know what you mean. I read the books over Christmas before I even knew there was a movie in production and was excited when I found out there was one... oh well, they can't all be good. That being said it wasn't the worst film I've seen.