Friday, November 9, 2012


First off let me say, if you were to hand pick someone to review a bond movie, it wouldn't be me. Most of these movies I just find boring, and the more recent ones I've found unwatchable, with the exception of Quantum of Solace, or Quantum Solstice? whatever it was called. That one I just never watched. With that being said, the fact that people go and see skyfall, and openly talk in public about how awesome they think it was, makes me lose all hope for humanity. This plot was incredibly overly complicated, kinda like "The Dark Knight" but unlike "The Dark Knight" where the joker made moves that directed batman to a point and purpose, this one has pretty much nothing of relevance happen in between the opening scene and the end of the movie. you can almost jump from 15 minutes in to the end and not miss anything. Not to mention the details that don't seem to just go anywhere. I will give them kudos for giving James Bond obstacles to over come, but then again he kinda just had problems and they went away without being mentioned ever again.

Ok, so the movie starts out with bond fighting a guy there's a long case scene, they are fighting on top of a train bond has been shot already and his partner Eve (who is absolutely lovely) shoots him accidentally when given the order to take a shot that was maybe a little less than "clean." So Bond is now dead, and we go to Adele song for the movie, It was enjoyable. This is where my enjoyment for this movie started to falter. James bond spends some time drinking with Scorpions on his hand but then randomly decides being dead isn't fun anymore and he wants to go back to work because MI6 blew up. ....oh yeah that happened too. Then he fails a bunch of tests and M tells him he's good to go. He then meets an overly flamboyant villain who spends a lot of time touching his thighs and not much time touching the thighs of the woman who bond recently slept with. Bond arrests him completely forgetting for a minute that he can't shoot anymore, despite the fact that it was LITERALLY JUST POINTED OUT SECONDS AGO! I'm not joking the villain(I can't even remember his name I think they said it once) he literally just called in to question bonds shaky marksmanship, Bond demonstrates how shaky his marksmanship STILL IS and then he supermans 3 guys dead by gunning them down. Did I miss something? why was this forgotten within SECONDS!?! Also at a certain point the villain points out that M has lied to bond about all his tests, this is also never mentioned again. Bond is just kinda like "Ehhh I'm cool with this" and then they forget it. Then this overly complicated thing happens for which I'm starting a new paragraph because this is where I REALLY started to hate this movie.

Ok So this may contain some spoilers, if you don't wish to read spoilers please don't read this coming up paragraph. but it is the complainyest part of my review.

Again, They've arrested the villain and M talks to him tells bond how great he was Q looks in to his computer and finds this code that keeps reworking it's self and Bond, is like  "wait look at those highlighted letters I noticed but you, super genius Q, didn't!" and that decrypts a map and opens all the doors. Q mentions how this nefarious plan had to have taken years of planning, there's a chase through the tunnel and there's also an explosion that has a train chasing Bond! The villain then walks in to a trail that M is at and tries to shoot her. This huge nefarious plan that took years to plan is essentially no more complex than something your disgruntled mailman has done 45 times. Now it's been brought up to me he wanted to discredit M, ok he'd done that in the very first scene, He wanted M to watch her men die, second scene, he wanted her to know it was him. All these things were established WELL before this incredibly overly complicated plan happened, so what was the point? he could've hopped a plan to london and offed her at any point? walked in to her flat and had a nice long conversation, walked in to her pre-determined trail and off her like he'd planned. What was all this exploding train BS and the super virus that opened all the doors? you could literally just cut a paste the film together and add the random exposition that is already RIFF through this thing and lose NOTHING!

ok Spoilers done, things I liked about it, like I said there were obstacles for Bond to over come, despite the fact that he didn't actually grow or overcome anything they did TRY. There's a lot of fun dialogue between him and Eve, Daniel Craig and that woman I felt had good Chemistry. There's more bad than good, in fact it's mostly bad. I could not stand this movie. that's about it ENJOY!

if you're a bond fan see it you'll like it I repeat, I don't watch bond movies and have similar feelings about all of them.

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