Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Hobbit

Ok, well when I first heard they were making a hobbit movie I was absolutely thrilled. Growing up the Rankin/Bass Hobbit was probably my favorite movie, and I've read the book multiple times as both a child and an adult(it's probably the only book I've ever reread as a matter of fact). My enthusiasm was tempered when I heard they were turning this 300 page book in to 3, 3 hr movies. I mean the little horrible animated film.....that I love dearly...was like 1.5 hours and fairly well covered the whole book. Then I read more about how they were expanding the story adding the short stories from the appendices etc, sooooo I guess they could stretch it I just don't know. I will say I was pleasantly surprised, there were a lot of things that I just didn't care for, it did have a tendency to drag and be a little ridiculous on occasion but in the end I thought most of the changes were made for the right reasons.

So the movie starts off the day of Bilbo's party, essentially it's the beginning of LOTR(Lord of the Rings). Bilbo is writing his book and telling Frodo his story. How he met gandalf, how he came to posses the ring, etc. it's a fairly well known story so I'm staying away from details and I'm gonna do my quick run down of what I liked and what I didn't.

What I liked? The misty mountain cold song! IT WAS AWESOME! The dwarves were given more character than they had in the books, I mean before this movie I could only name Gloin and that's because he was mentioned in LOTR, but in the book they were essentially non existent characters, now they were distinct and different enough to make me care about them. That being said I didn't really like all of the new dwarf personalities.

What I disliked? OH MY GOD! The one liners! I think there was a one liner every 3.8 seconds. there is one scene in the cave where it is almost literally that long in between the one liners. The dwarves can be too goofy, there's a little to much "over the topness?" with the action. Which all stems from the fact that it was supposed to be a lighter tone movie that they tried to make a heavier tone and couldn't really find the middle ground between the two (I feel).

This movie is still beautiful and a ton of fun. If you liked LOTR, then you'll probably have a good time with this. If you didn't? then don't see it. I will say it drags a lot more than the first 3, but still well worth the 3 hours.

Friday, November 9, 2012


First off let me say, if you were to hand pick someone to review a bond movie, it wouldn't be me. Most of these movies I just find boring, and the more recent ones I've found unwatchable, with the exception of Quantum of Solace, or Quantum Solstice? whatever it was called. That one I just never watched. With that being said, the fact that people go and see skyfall, and openly talk in public about how awesome they think it was, makes me lose all hope for humanity. This plot was incredibly overly complicated, kinda like "The Dark Knight" but unlike "The Dark Knight" where the joker made moves that directed batman to a point and purpose, this one has pretty much nothing of relevance happen in between the opening scene and the end of the movie. you can almost jump from 15 minutes in to the end and not miss anything. Not to mention the details that don't seem to just go anywhere. I will give them kudos for giving James Bond obstacles to over come, but then again he kinda just had problems and they went away without being mentioned ever again.

Ok, so the movie starts out with bond fighting a guy there's a long case scene, they are fighting on top of a train bond has been shot already and his partner Eve (who is absolutely lovely) shoots him accidentally when given the order to take a shot that was maybe a little less than "clean." So Bond is now dead, and we go to Adele song for the movie, It was enjoyable. This is where my enjoyment for this movie started to falter. James bond spends some time drinking with Scorpions on his hand but then randomly decides being dead isn't fun anymore and he wants to go back to work because MI6 blew up. ....oh yeah that happened too. Then he fails a bunch of tests and M tells him he's good to go. He then meets an overly flamboyant villain who spends a lot of time touching his thighs and not much time touching the thighs of the woman who bond recently slept with. Bond arrests him completely forgetting for a minute that he can't shoot anymore, despite the fact that it was LITERALLY JUST POINTED OUT SECONDS AGO! I'm not joking the villain(I can't even remember his name I think they said it once) he literally just called in to question bonds shaky marksmanship, Bond demonstrates how shaky his marksmanship STILL IS and then he supermans 3 guys dead by gunning them down. Did I miss something? why was this forgotten within SECONDS!?! Also at a certain point the villain points out that M has lied to bond about all his tests, this is also never mentioned again. Bond is just kinda like "Ehhh I'm cool with this" and then they forget it. Then this overly complicated thing happens for which I'm starting a new paragraph because this is where I REALLY started to hate this movie.

Ok So this may contain some spoilers, if you don't wish to read spoilers please don't read this coming up paragraph. but it is the complainyest part of my review.

Again, They've arrested the villain and M talks to him tells bond how great he was Q looks in to his computer and finds this code that keeps reworking it's self and Bond, is like  "wait look at those highlighted letters I noticed but you, super genius Q, didn't!" and that decrypts a map and opens all the doors. Q mentions how this nefarious plan had to have taken years of planning, there's a chase through the tunnel and there's also an explosion that has a train chasing Bond! The villain then walks in to a trail that M is at and tries to shoot her. This huge nefarious plan that took years to plan is essentially no more complex than something your disgruntled mailman has done 45 times. Now it's been brought up to me he wanted to discredit M, ok he'd done that in the very first scene, He wanted M to watch her men die, second scene, he wanted her to know it was him. All these things were established WELL before this incredibly overly complicated plan happened, so what was the point? he could've hopped a plan to london and offed her at any point? walked in to her flat and had a nice long conversation, walked in to her pre-determined trail and off her like he'd planned. What was all this exploding train BS and the super virus that opened all the doors? you could literally just cut a paste the film together and add the random exposition that is already RIFF through this thing and lose NOTHING!

ok Spoilers done, things I liked about it, like I said there were obstacles for Bond to over come, despite the fact that he didn't actually grow or overcome anything they did TRY. There's a lot of fun dialogue between him and Eve, Daniel Craig and that woman I felt had good Chemistry. There's more bad than good, in fact it's mostly bad. I could not stand this movie. that's about it ENJOY!

if you're a bond fan see it you'll like it I repeat, I don't watch bond movies and have similar feelings about all of them.

Monday, October 29, 2012


I liked it! So go see it and that's it!

not enough? FINE! I guess I'll have to write more! This movie is good but it's not without its flaws. For example, it has a lot in common with the shining, there are a couple plot points that go no where and are eventually dropped, some things have overly condescending explanations.

So this movie is about the Ellison Oswalt, and his immediate family. Ellison is kinda a sad sack, he wrote a best seller true crime novel roughly 10 years ago and was never able to recapture that success. He left his home and moves in to a crime scene to work on another true crime story. He doesn't tell his wife that they're living in the scene of a murder! This obviously comes up later and is not a fun conversation to have. Either way, while moving boxes around places he finds a box in his attic, this box is filled with super 8 films he watches them and they're all videos of murders, one having taken place in that particular house. These murders span the course of roughly 50 years, Ellison begins to put together a pattern for the murder and becomes more and more obsessed with the murders and starts drinking yada yada yada. It's a fairly common story. Ellison is a pretty pathetic character watching his old interviews from his hit book late at night and hoping he can accomplish that goal again.

Ok, so anyways, problems: Ellison is forgettable he's so forgettable that I actually had to look up what his name was. His wife is even more forgettable, I did look up her name and STILL can't remember it! I'm not joking, the wikipedia page is open but I'd have to go back to it and I'm just not up for that. Secondly, some of the photography stuff as well as a lot of the plot seem to be almost.....well you could've called this "The Shining Part 2: Shine Harder" I mean with the exception of the whole isolation aspect, which is the scariest part of The Shining! There's a lot of silly music queue's that are like "BE SCARED NOW!" There's also quite a bit of explaining, it's a movie here people, show don't tell. The thing that really drove me nuts is the family murdered in the house the Oswalt's are living in were hung, a tree branch was cut and the weight of the branch lifted 4 people. Forgetting that branch would have to weigh like let's say 300lbs, when the Oswalt's moved in, no one bothered to clean it up! the same damn branch is sitting there a year later! The only specific example of a plot line that was dropped was the son's night terrors but that might have been an intentional mislead so I'll let that one go. There were others and I can't remember them so they weren't that important,

Likes!: Lots of good scares lots of quality tension, has a fairly decent and unraveled plot, Ethan Hawke isn't awful, he's just kinda forgettable. The kids did a good job of actually acting so nothing wrong there. I absolutely loved some of the cinematography, there's a lot of super 8 videos in this and sometimes the film skips a little, same thing happens in a couple different scenes when you're not watching super 8 video.

From the producers of Insidious, the guy only makes 1 word titled movies with titles that mean "Bad" Stay tuned for review of "Malicious" sometime in 2013

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Paranormal Activity 4

Sooo apparently Paranormal activity is going to be coming out every october until the creators die or they no longer are profitable. Either way, the first one was good, the second one had problems, the third, while I loved some of the new effects I thought it was probably the worst. SO, I wasn't excited to see this one, they've effectively gone downhill each time I've seen them. But it's MY JOB to watch movies...not really, no one pays me for this shit. It's my HOBBY to watch movies and then write about them, and it's halloween and I've watched NO horror movies.

Ok, so The first PA is about Micah and Katie, they have a run in with a demon. The second is a prequel that involves Katie from the first and her sister's family. SPOILER ALERT

At the end, Katie kills everyone and steals her sisters son!!!!!

Spoiler alert over.

Ok so now the third was a pre-prequel that really doesn't need to be explained. So This one takes place with Katie and Hunter, and explains what happens 6 years after the events of the first movie.

Problems - Most of the camera shots are from mac webcams, which is fine but the last one had a lot of fun moving cameras, this one didn't mostly static shots unless they were using the silly walking around with your camera and screaming BS. Still you never once got sick because of the camera. Most of the side characters kinda seems underdeveloped, the kids did a great job but the parents are pretty much non factors. LOTS of product placement, Gnarly head wine, Pepsi, xbox 360, are just a few that stood out. Finally, there's a big gap in the story from the first and they explain nothing about this creepy child who just shows up and apparently is a witch of some sort? not sure where he came from but whatever.

Things I liked - The stuff with the kinect was cool (yes they blatantly use the kinect to record shit) The story was interesting, despite being vague.

If you were a fan of the first three, this is a must see, if you just kinda liked the first three then this one is still fun and a welcome addition, but if you didn't like them at all, I wouldn't recommend it. Basically, this one isn't going to bring in any new fans, it was fun and enjoyable, but ultimately follows the same formula as the other 3.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Dead Set

So it's October, which means it's almost halloween and I have done.....absolutely nothing Halloweeny. Allow me to explain. I work at a restaurant part time between my research shifts and everyone else who does my job quit, so I've been working 6 days a week about 5pm - 1 or 2 am and I can't watch horror movies during the day or do anything at night really! Also my vet school apps are finally in and I took a week off and went to New Orleans, I made a wish on the tomb of marie laveau and did a ghost tour where I had the pleasure of seeing Nick Cage's New Orleans home. Which apparently is a horrifying horrifying place. seriously, absolutely horrifying. But that was my "YEAH! I DON'T HAVE TO FILL OUT APPS ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M DONE BUT NOW I'M JUST WAITING" Present to myself.

sooooooooooooo, Dead set. Anyone seen it? This was a tv show produce by channel 10 (I believe) in England. The plot is pretty simple, during the filming of Big Brother, a zombie apocalypse breaks out. The people inside the house are confused and don't really know what to do because Big brother isn't talking to them and they can't leave the house. Eventually, a production assistant manages to break in to the house and has a hell of a time explaining to the contestants on Big Brother that people are in fact eating people, what ensues is both intense and hilarious.

Soooooo (for my third time using So but with extended ooooo's) this was given to me for my birthday, it is a little expensive but it is also only 6 episodes and just so much fun. If you're a fan of Zombie fiction or even a fan of the UK version of Big Brother this is definitely for you. check it out!

So no more personal drama.....wait no let's not do that. how about i give you a much more detailed review in the next week about PA4 and Sinister! BETTER PLAN!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I have a thing for stop-motion animation, and this year there appear to be 3 stop-motion movies that have either been released or are being released. Paranorman is the second of these three films and probably the one I was the most excited for. Why? I don't really know, it just seemed cute and I really wanted to see it. So, I watched it, and it wasn't the least bit disappointed. Great music, great special effects, really good animation, excellent sets. 

The movie is about a little boy who sees ghosts. It starts off with him watching a movie with his grandmother who tells him he should get his father to turn up the heat, her toes are freezing. When he tells his dad this he freaks out and tells him again, his grandmother died months ago. I believe the city name was Blithe Hallows, which is a city that had a good ole fashion witch burning. This witch, while being burnt, cursed the city. Norman's crazy uncle, Mr. Pendergrast, had been keeping this curse at bay for years and had similar abilities to talk to the dead. Early in the film he dies and passes the torch to Norman who kinda botches his first attempt to keep the curse at bay. It then becomes a battle for Norman, his sister, his best friend among several others to figure out how to break the curse. 

This movie is not for the weak at heart. It is very much an adultish kids movie. Norman at times bleeds which is probably what surprised me the most, not only at one point is he violently assaulted. That's beside the point the movie is BEAUTIFUL, with well designed characters and sets, as well as very very good animation and music. The jokes are few and far between, but there are a few that made me laugh out loud. mostly it was just a really good time, and if you want a fun, exciting movie this one is DEFINITELY for you. Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Liebster Award

Ahhh finally recognition for my mild work ethic. The Liebster is an award that's passed from blogger to blogger as a recognition of quality work. I received mine from The Movie Labyrinth. To accept the award there are rules which must be followed however:
 1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves
 2. Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
 3. Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
 4. Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post.
 5. Go to their page and tell them.
 Eleven things about myself
 1) I LOVE TACOS! I could eat tacos all day everyday.
 2) people think I'm full of myself.
 3) I'm currently applying to vet school.
4) I have my A&P final tomorrow and I'm incredibly underprepared for it.
 5) I think I have a serious candy addiction. The other day I felt like crap all day got home and ate a handful of skittles and all of a sudden I was fine. seems to be happening a lot these days.
 6)I need to get my cat shaved, because he's filled with mats from my little sisters puppy, who just wants to play with the cat but doesn't realize that the cat hates everything about him and would kill him in his sleep.
 7) despite the fact that I run a media blog, I really don't consume all that much media.
 8) If you mix skittles and sweet tarts together, you create a flavor explosion in your mouth.
 9) I have a serious problem coming up with 11 things about myself because I blank every time I start a new number
10) I should expand number 1 to pretty much all mexican food.
 11) at least two of these haven't been about me at all!

 11 questions
 1. What is your guilty pleasure (movie or otherwise)? do I only get to pick one? movie I'd have to go with "The Halloween Tree" made for TV movie, i watch it every halloween and if I don't then I get really grumpy.
 2. Do you see your blog as anything more than a hobby? It's my creative outlet kinda, it started out as just me blogging about what movies I was watching around Halloween then it was year round because I watch movies year round, but it's been fun.
 3. What is your favourite ever kids' film and why? I'm a really big fan of all pixar movies, how to train your dragon, the muppet movies with the exception of muppets in space and the ones not released theatrically.
 4. If you had to delete one film genre from the course of history, what would it be? bromance movies. the fact that my computer recognizes bromance as a word is reason enough. But they're not funny, they're not entertaining but EVERYBODY loves them! I don't understand why or how these are popular!
 5. Do you have a movie that everyone loves but you just don't get? (And I mean good movies, not Twilight or something like that). The Hangover! for reasons shown above.
 6. If you had the opportunity to interview any film-related person ever, who would it be?
 7. What's your day job? I'm a barback at the moose preserve I'm also a research assistant at wayne state university currently studying prostate cancer 8. Is there anywhere that you have never visited, but always wanted to? most of europe. been overseas but europe is too expensive these days.
 9. What movie never gets old for you? Scott Pilgram vs the World, also how to train your dragon.
 10. What is the weirdest thing you have seen or the weirdest thing you have ever done? filled out these questions instead of studying for my final tomorrow. Also I once chased a penguin very slowly down a was adorable.
 11. Would you rather have to erase your top ten favourite movies of all time from complete existence (so that no one knows they ever existed except you) or never be able to watch a movie again yourself? I have a hard time convincing anyone to watch movies I like anyways. So probably erase them from existence.

 Make up 11 questions
 1) Do you find 31 year old research assistant/barbacks attractive
 2) are you sure?
 3) if you were to write a movie about a 31 year old research assistant/barback who would you get to play the love interest?
 4) Sweet tarts or sprees?
5) really?
 6) Matt Damon or Ben Affleck?
 7) Which version of Bennifer did you prefer Garner or Lopez?
 8) in the event of a zombie apocalypse, who would you want to shoot you in the face in the event that you became zombified?
9) who would you want to shoot in the face in the event they are zombified?
 10) Smooth or creamy peanut butter?
 11) have you ever had a dream where you lose all your teeth or they're broken and become gross looking stubs?
 11 people you're giving the award too? I only regularly follow 3 people, one gave me this award so the other two are Mandy at Mandy's Morgue or Horror and my long time collaborator Jim at I probably liked it