Saturday, April 2, 2011
This is my VERY first request, so I'm a little excited. I will try to fulfill any requests made but it is difficult, due to time constraints and availability on Netflix streaming and On demand (i might have to actually go and rent a movie from the STORE!?!?!)
Jaws is for pussies. This movie stats that right in the first 10 minutes or so. Two girls are on the beach talking about swimming, one girl says to the other "I'm not going swimming there's sharks in the water" there's some conversation before that but it's not important. Other girl goes swimming and a shark is about to attack her when tentacles thrust through the water wrapping up the shark and killing it quickly. It's then established that this was a government experiment and the head werewolf from "Wolves of Wallstreet" has genetically engineered a half shark half octopus to stop drug runners and illegal aliens from coming over from cuba, the code name of this project "S-11." I can only assume it's code named S-11 for Shark-11 which probably means there was s-1 through s-10 before this and they all failed. Sure enough any control they had of the shark is quickly broken and the shark runs a muck all over mexican resort beaches. The characters consist of the guy from wolves of wallstreet's hot scientist daughter, you know she's a scientist because she wears glasses. The lovable rogue who thinks he's too good for the job Andy, his best friend Santos, and then a bunch of throw away side characters that no one cares about. Needless to say, the character development wasn't exactly rich or plentiful.
When you get a giant water creature movie what you ultimately want is for the giant water creature to do interesting and fun things, and while Sharktopus started out strong with the giant sharktopus attacking bungie jumper mid bungie jump! It reminded me a lot of fishing when your fishing line snaps except when that happens a giant sharktopus doesn't eat you. Also the guy bungie jumping with the girl, they don't even show him again. I assume he was completely nonchalant and just went home. After that it goes down hill pretty quickly, I mean it attacks the guys who clean the sides of the Queen Mary and that's kinda funny, one of them has an awesome beard. Apart from that really it's just tentacles attacking people not all that entertaining after the bungie jumping incident.
Don't rent, don't buy, Don't even finish reading this review!