Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Salem's Lot

I remember watching this when I was little and thinking it was the greatest movie EVER! NOW, not so much. there's a lot of things wrong with it, that being said you really can't expect much. It was a made for TV movie in the 1970's.

Mainly the story follows Ben Mears, a writer from Maine played by David Soul (Hutch from Starsky and Hutch). Mears returns to his home town and attempts to buy an old haunted house, The Marsten House, unfortunately it has already been purchased by someone, someone NO ONE'S EVER SEEN!!!!! Ben happily accepts this and starts looking for a new place to live in Salem's lot. He meets a nice young lady, seems like the perfect story. Except that nice young lady later in life realized she married David Soul, and that's a bad thing, because even though he looks WAY more like my dad than Micheal Chiklis ever did, it's hard to route for a wife beater, and on top of that I can't think of a single way to connect him to Kevin Bacon!I'm thinking every movie I should review should have a connection to Kevin Bacon, or maybe I should just review movies starring or about Kevin Bacon. This is the perfect chance for me to get the rights to his autobiography "Bacon on Bacon" and direct the movie adaptation. I already have the movie poster made!

Completely on topic, it's amazing what some people do with Bacon, for example please look at this bust of Kevin Bacon made entirely out of bacon!

it could be Conan O'brien but I've been told that it's for sure Kevin Bacon. Thank god for the Interwebs. Back to the made for TV movie "Salem's lot" murders start to happen people start to get suspicious of David Soul, two little boys get turned into vampires along with a truck driver who talks to a preacher later in the movie and when he does I thought it was horrifying when I was little, unfortunately later in life he just kinda looks gay I googled Geoffrey Lewis in Salem's Lot and this picture came up.

So you can see where I'd think a vampire dressed like that would be gay right?

apparently he was in such fine films as "lawnmower man" and "double team" and even some other movies that AREN'T terrible! Side note, while googling Geoffrey Lewis a list of "Fabulous Scientologists" came up further cementing that opinion. ok, moving far far away from anything but the movie. A couple things I REALLY did like about this film, the vampires in this film are not sexy, in anyway. The main vampire looks a lot like Max Schrek from "Nosferatu" It's a welcome change of pace these days. Effects are bad, story is ok, acting is almost unwatchable(with some exceptions the supporting cast is pretty bad and there's kids in it and god they're horrid) All those things considered I'd still say it's worth your time if you're bored on a sunday afternoon, definitely if you're drunk.

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