The New Thing Remake Prequelly Thing

Yes I'm using that picture to start off this Blog! If you've got a problem with it you obviously don't realize that I'm going to one day marry Mary Elizabeth Winstead and our children will go to sky high while she pursues a career as a scientist/actress who gets raped by hillbillies while her 3 friends go off and murder Kurt Russell.....Mary if you read this CALL ME!

The Thing is a prequel to a remake of a movie from the 50's called "A Thing From Another World" I've heard some say, Mostly Jim from I probably liked it that it's supposed to be a prequel to the original and I can safely say that's probably not true. I've never seen the original, so I have no idea but it seems to connect right to the 1982 film and I might just be misremembering what Jim said. I could Easily go check it out in my "The Thing Remake" post but that was like MONTHS AGO. Either way, for what it's worth, this wasn't a bad movie, it had problems OH BOY did it have problems! Yet, the movie was fun, exciting, gave you the same sense of mistrust of absolutely everyone but there are jumps in logic that seem to go unnoticed, and there's just to much "The Thing" for my liking.

The movie starts of with Norwegians doing what they do best, telling jokes about children having sex with their grandmothers.....seriously that's a norwegian stereotype! Personally I found this offensive. Moving on these Norwegians find a space ship. Flash forward and you have Kate Lloyd who's working on some sort of Sabertooth tiger. A doctor comes in who's english and I've forgotten his name, which is funny because in this scene he tells her then asks if she knows who he is....which he had literally just told her! I mean I get what he meant but it kinda seemed like the questions needed to be reversed. Either way moving right along,he recruits her for a glorious trip to Antarctica they did up the thing and it starts to eat people.

OK, while this one wasn't bad, it had problems. First off, there was WAY to much of the thing, you see the monster ALL THE TIME! looking back at the original you can actually count on 1 hand the amount of scenes with the actual monster. What made the thing scary was the paranoia between your lead actors. Anyone at any point could've been a monster trying to eat you and then become you only later to turn on you and eat someone else. This movie still featured a lot of that, but it still had a lot of monster on human violence, it was less about the paranoia of the people and more about the monster. Again, not bad but it lost my favorite quality of the original remake.

Jumps in logic? there are many! Kate at one part finds fillings and is like "oh obviously this monster can't create inorganic materials, so if someone has fillings that means they're not the thing!" And while she has some proof, another doctor points out the MANY flaws in her logic, and I have a tendency to agree strongly with the doctor you're supposed to hate and disagree with. His statement also feels tacked on, it's almost like the writers were like "yeah that's some flimsy logic there, she's a scientist she should be making stronger hypothesizes...eh just hang a lantern on it and lets go home! there's other things, like Kate sees cells taking over other cells like in the original remake, and she goes "OMG THEY'RE IMITATING THE OTHER CELLS!" and her lab partner is like "well we don't know that for sure" and she repeats herself with more force. Which I feel like a lot of scientists do that, but ok this paragraph has become non-productive.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is in it. SHE LOOKS AWFUL! she's always got big bulky jackets on, her hair isn't wonderful like normal and she never once wears a low cut top! I mean she's in ANTARCTICA! is ONE JACUZZI SCENE SO MUCH TO ASK!

Wrapping this up, the movie is fun, but is lacking. If you're out on a friday and just bored it's worth the 2 hours in the theatre you won't be sorry, if you've got something else to do probably do that. This one could wait til Netflix is streaming it.