Thursday, February 9, 2012

From the Vaults

I like to write, I'm by no means a great writer I'd go as far to say as I'm a pretty shitty writer. In the end, I love it. The reason I started this blog was initially just a creative outlet, it's evolved in to mostly movie reviews and I've never actually posted a story here. The problem is A) most of my stories are bad B) I haven't had much to write about and FINALLY C) My stories do tend to be a steady stream of consciousness that's hard to capture and hard understand. So here's one that I wrote about 4 years ago when I was in Australia. I've re-read it since and I will say I'm still very proud of it, even though I've never taken the time to fix the MANY MANY mistakes made within. Have a look and Please comment if you like!

It was a night, very much like this one. Drunken people were hanging out by the pool, when the girl got up to go take a pee. Her useless BF was sitting on his laptop killing time until a stupid video of sea-lion pups finished uploading. "Loading this video is costing us a fortune" he said to himself as he tried to think of what on his ipod could possible replace the incessant whining of the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack the Girl had thrown on.

"Ahhh" he heard a scream from downstairs.

"For me to get up and go all the way downstairs to see what it is could end up costing me even more if I'll wait until this stupid video finishes uploading." He said

Then a thick red fluid very much like blood, or tomato sauce(Ketchup to those americans reading) splattered across the window.

"Just a minute" he said waiting for the video to upload.

The screams got closer and closer, echoing down the hallway like a pack of sea-lion pups carefully playing in the.....hallway?

"Just a minute" he said as his mind tried to formulate a better metaphor for the sounds going on in the hallway.

as he continued typing not really paying attention to what or how his sentences formed on the page. another thick red fluid seeped through the hole between the door, and the floor, similar to the first one but this one was on the floor rather than the window, and also there apparently was a lot of it, cause seriously it just kept coming and coming through the door. Very shortly after he started hearing thuds as if some very heavy footed individual was walking down the hallway, after every step a dragging noise as if he were carrying something. Possibly the size of a small the medium sized human or several children, not moving at all, quite possibly the body of a sea-lion pup or several for that matter. also there was a sloshing noise coming out following that. Much like the thick red fluid that had become so abundant recently were squishing out of the thing being dragged by the heavy footed individual, or at least he thought having not moved from the front of his stupid computer screen and rather than investigate he would like to write LONG run on sentences.

A knock on the door followed.

"Is it important" he said to the door, or the individual knocking on the door "cause if I get up and this video finishes uploading while I'm at the door and I could post my blog post and log out then I've wasted extra minutes that I didn't need to and could use them tomorrow for more important things like checking the redwings information that I so desperately crave or even check my email to make sure my spam folder is empty, I do seem to be getting them a lot recently!" As he finished his sentence he wondered why he so craved to explain his every thought to the person behind the door, I mean he really didn't need to know about his red wing fetish or that it was costing him fortune sit here typing while he could be doing more important things.

"Well not really" the voice on the other side of the door said, "I mean I can always come back, if you're busy"

"Well, a little, I could put it on hold but really if this video finishes posting and I don't notice then I might lose a lot of precious minutes and have to pay another fucking 30 dollars for half an hour of internet time."

"Well I'll come back think half an hour would be good" the voice on the other side of the door said.

"Yeah that should be fine, what do you need"

"Oh nothing that can't wait until 1030"

"Thanks I really appreciate it" he said, still waiting for that annoying video to load.

"Not a problem" The voice said "see you around 1030"

the footsteps and dragging and sloshing noises started again, as he heard a knock on the other door of the second floor of the youth hostel that until right now he hadn't thought of how inaccurate that name was since a lot of people staying there seemed in their 50's. The screams soon began again, and the red fluid once again began to flow underneath the door.

"Someone out there must really like tomato sauce." he said completely oblivious to the fact that the entity on the other side of the door was obviously killing people and collecting their bodies and dragging them off. Completely and utterly un-phased that most likely his girlfriend who had been so good and understanding through the years was indeed included in those bodies being dragged off.

"I wish I had some chips, or fries as the americans would call them" He said wondering why he felt the need to explain to himself that the americans, himself included, call fries something other than chips, and Australia actually calls them Hot Chips, as well as Chips and fries, although his sentence hadn't in the least covered even half of that.

"I wonder when danielle is getting back" he said without capitalizing her name in his speech which he also thought was impossible til that moment. "I hope she brings back some chips"

The clock struck 1030 and once again the knock came on the door.

"I'm still waiting, again if it's that important then I'll just answer but could I possibly get another half an hour?"

"No worries mate, I'll just move up to the third story" voice on the other side of the door said to him.

"Thanks I really appreciate it" he said thinking desperately for a different way to say he said.

The footsteps slowly made their way upstairs, the knocking screaming and sloshing continued. Sure enough from the ceiling down their ceiling fan came that same red fluid that reminded him so much of tomato sauce he could almost taste the tomato sauce in his mouth as that same fluid dripped into the center of the room.

"I may have to file a complaint with management about the overabundance of tomato sauce but the surprising lack of chips" he explained to himself as the tomato sauce like fluid continued to pool in the center of the room. It now covered more than a centimeter of the entire floor, and that stupid video had yet to load.

the screams at the top of the stairs soon enough stopped and sure enough after that the footsteps slowly made their way down the stairs and stopped right in front of his door. The knocking followed and he again responded with the same response.
"Still not done" He exclaimed.

"Seriously, this is getting ridiculous, there are other hostels I have to get to in town tonight you know." The voice on the other side of the door roared.

"I know but I only have 32 minutes of internet time left, and if I miss my opportunity to load this video then well then I might have to pay another quadrillion dollars to get more wireless time, and it's PRICEY." he fought back in his typical overly defensive early in an argument.

"I'm sorry about that I really am, but it's just that I have a REALLY tight schedule tonight, do you have any idea how many backpackers there are in this town?"

"Not really, I mean it's kinda off the beaten path, and it's off season, you don't happen to have any chips do you?"

"Why would i have chips" the voice asked sounding more confused than ever.

"Well it's just that there's all this tomato sauce and that I thought maybe you were delivering chips to all the attendants here at this lovely hostel, seemed logical at the time" he explained once again not really sure how long this damn video was going to take to load.

"No I'm not delivering chips, I assure you, could you just come and answer the door?"

"I guess gimme a minute"

He canceled the video and got up to answer the door.


Danielle said...

whatever happened to that video?

Resmo112 said...

it's on my old laptop, speaking of which I need to get an external hard drive and back those all up