Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sequel to Dog Soldiers?

In 2002 Neil Marshall wrote and directed a movie called "Dog Soldiers" it was wonderful. It boils down to a bunch of soldiers go to do some war games not told what's up turns out they're bait for a bunch or werewolves that the scottish military is trying to capture and use as soldiers. it's fun, but they made a sequel (they really didn't) at the end of the second film, the remaining werewolves have a lot of life decisions to make, one decides to goto the circus, the other decides to get hooked on werewolf smack, there's separate movies for each of those stories. Either way the third werewolf, we'll call him Hobart, he goes to New york and starts a pack of werewolf stock brokers.

The actual movie I'm talking about was also released in 2002, it was called the "Wolves of Wallstreet" it's most likely a good idea to actually WATCH this movie before i review it, and I do actually own it.........don't judge me.... either way So watching it would only cost me 2 hours of my life, 2 hours I COULD spend typing this review of a movie I haven't seen in honestly probably 5 years. SO I won't be watching it, i'm just going to put together what I remember happening and make up some other things.

so first off let me say Wikipedia describes this movie as a homoerotic horror/mystery/thriller.I'm serious, you don't believe me please check this out.


AND it's directed by David DeCoteau, who did my FAVORITE puppet master movie, puppet master 3 Toulon's revenge. That is the movie where all the continuity goes out the window, for example, in puppet master 1 Toulon dies in, i believe it's California, and is making Blade and several other puppets, in part 3, which takes place 3 or years AFTER puppet master 1, we see Toulon, who we know to be DEAD or in California, also he looks at least 20 years younger and he uses his puppets to kill Nazis. What does this have to do with "Wolves of Wallstreet" WHO THE FUCK CARES! also this movie seemed more homoerotic than "Wolves of Wallstreet" so I did a little research.
the worst part about this is I had to save this photo to my desktop to upload it here! How does one explain this to his girlfriend who may already think he's gay?
yup nothing homoerotic here.

either way basically this movie follows the protagonist Jeff, who's dream is to be a stock broker, the best stock brokers are wolves, so jeff joins said wolves. The best parts about this movie are two things, I remember Christrian Kane from angel being the main character, he's not, he's not even in the movie, nor does he look anything like Christian Kane. Also I don't actually remember anyone turning into a werewolf? So I decided to do a little more research, and this is the first line from the very first review on IMDB. "If you're going to make a movie about werewolves or vampires someone should actually turn into one" sooooooo apparently this is just a movie about investing.

Ok so this isn't much of a review as a rant, and not a very good one at that. But anyways a little red headed english woman requested that I review this and I refuse to WATCH THIS MOVIE WITHOUT HER! So if she wants a review she's gonna have to come back to MI for a weekend GOT IT!

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