Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Thirst

Ok so I'm going to try and review a new horror movie every week until Halloween, I think i can do it it's a whole FOUR reviews! Hopefully I'll do more but here's the first.

OK, "The Thirst" is a movie about vampires, they're thirsty. this isn't just about Vampires, they're like vampire hillbillies, they suck, they're terrible vampires, but they're still better than the ones from twiliight. It's very bloody, and was advertised as Requiem for a Dream meets Near Dark. For the people who have read any of my notes(danielle) Near Dark is a vampire movie that I put on my list of good movies for Halloween, so I figured why not.

Ok so this only relates to Requiem for a Dream because it's about drug addicts. The main character is named Max, and he was addicted to..................something, but now he's not. He dates a stripper who he's convinced is using again(using DRUGS that is). He goes to a Narcotics anonymous and cries about this. Also he's a really bad actor, and seems like a horrible horrible douche too. In the first 15 minutes of the movie his girlfriend, the stripper girl I think her name was lisa, she has some sort of cancer that makes her vomit blood. When Max finds out about this he yells a lot and makes her cry, then goes to his NA meeting and hits on some girl. Then Lisa kills herself, and he grows a beard. This makes him look more grizzled and depressed i guess.

So, two of max's friends have an intervention, Max tells us this is his second intervention this week and they suck, quality screenwriting there. Anywho, Max goes to a club, is pretty sure he see's lisa, then gets kidnapped by vampires cause it turns out lisa is a vampire and she makes him a vampire. It's all very complicated. seriously, after this point they make it out like Max is using because he's been drinking blood, but lisa had cancer so she can't kill cause it's impossible for people with cancer to kill. After, Max kills a girl they go through a huge scene where they eat cats and blood off a mattress and there's a lot of quick cuts. It's all very annoying, this is the part where it's trying REALLY hard to be "Requiem for a Dream"

I don't need to go through all of this cause it's REALLY REALLY boring, almost NOTHING happens in this movie, except for the part where they eat the mattress that was pretty awesome. Regardless, Max goes vampire and just wants to kill, and then we get speeches about people dying and how they relate to people who have cancer. The whole killing as an addiction metaphor is blantant and annoying, almost everything about this movie pissed me off, except for of course them eating the blood soaked mattress. I really can't get over that, I mean they sat there eating a blood soaked mattress, it was pretty awesome basically, don't watch this unless you have some weird fetish for vampires eating mattresses, that's it.

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