Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Some people are just gross

Grace........................ I watched it? I'm still trying to scrub it out of my MIND! oh god, it's just gross I don't even know where to start or how to write and intro (or write at all, really I'm a pretty awful writer) but ok I'm just gonna move on.

So, Grace starts off with two people fucking.....seriously, just two people fucking. I liked this part, if there's one thing you never see enough of in horror movies it's fucking. Regardless, the woman in this movie is really bored through this sex, which I also liked. I really related to a character who bores women during sex.......... So anyways, woman gets pregnant, Mother-in-law is a bitch, and she insists that our heroine, who's name happens to be madeline uses her doctor, but Madeline is a tree hugging hippie who only drinks soy milk and makes her husband eat horrible horrible looking things like noodles with gross on them, so she wants to use a mid-wife. A Mid-wife who happens to be her former lesbian lover. Madeline and her husband get into a car accident, the husband dies, so does the baby, but Madeline is....crazy....and so she decided that she would want to carry a dead baby around for 3 more weeks til she can naturally give birth. She gives birth with her former lover at the helm, and since of course since Madeline begs patricia (the mid-wife/lover, at least I think it was patricia, she wasn't really all that interesting the only time she even talks is to deliver the baby or buy a motor home.) to let her hold the baby, she does and the sheer power of Madeline's love brings the baby back to life(i wish i made that last part up, it's actually stolen FROM THE BACK OF THE BOX!) This is where the movie just gets gross. The baby attracts flies, because it's dead or something they never really explain it, it just attracts flies. When the baby gets bathed it bleeds and gets a rash, which........is never really explained either, I guess when you bath dead people they bleed? Finally, when Madeline breast feeds the baby actually sucks HER BLOOD!!!!!!! this isn't even the worst part, the grandma who's a bitch actually mentions that even after menopause women can still....milk themselves? she ends up breast feeding her husband, and milking herself for her doctor friend...it's just not right.

ok, so that's like the longest paragraph ever so I'm starting a new one. The movie kinda seemed preachy, but I actually can't figure out what it was trying to be preachy about. Madeline is constantly watching animals butchered on animal planet so at first I was kinda thinking "Meat is Murder" and what not, and that makes sense, I'd have to say it's most likely a don't eat meat message, I guess it'd be more anti-milk? Ultimately I think the writer just has HUGE mommy issues.

I can't say this enough, but this movie was just gross, I actually can't believe that this movie was made. The box says "Watch at your own risk" which is so true. Only watch this movie if you like horrible flesh eating zombie babies that AREN'T entertaining. Seriously, I would think it would be impossible to screw up ZOMBIE BABIES, but here we are, screwed up zombie babies. Peter Jackson did zombie babies and they were AWESOME! the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" had a zombie baby and it wasn't bad. Ok end of story stay away from this movie because it's gross and dumb.

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