Saturday, September 17, 2011
NO It's not the good one! Apparently, this ones directed by the guy who directed "Night of the Demons" which i reviewed earlier but it's not the same "Night of the Demons" with the worlds sexiest woman Diora Baird in it. No it's the one from the 80's that starred Allison Barron and Billy Gallo? I have no idea who those people are and you don't either. Apparently, this guy also made Witchboard 1 AND 2! Which also shouldn't mean anything to you, I remember watching the first one when I was little and being a little freaked out by it, but it's a movie about a haunted Ouija board made by the guy who made this piece of crap. Just throwing it out there. Oh he also did "Pinocchio's Revenge!" THAT ONE SOUNDS GREAT!
This is the story of....no one of note. But if I were to list "Important" characters in this film it'd be a Reverend and his friend Amy, who's got a great rack, two lesbian who like to skinny dip together even though one isn't ACTUALLY a lesbian she just takes off her clothes in front of the other lesbian who's actually a lesbian and then gets pissed when the other girl puts the moves on her. Confused as to which girl is which? SO AM I THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A PERSONALITY TO EITHER OF THEM! There's two felons, who don't know each other but they're handcuffed together and one likes to beat up on the other, and then finally there's some park rangers who I guess are supposed to be "sexy" park rangers but I'm not buying it. They all end up nestled in a cozy little cabin in the middle of the woods. At one point there's a gun fight and a zombie (oh yeah there's zombies in this movie, did I forget to mention that?) punches right through the park rangers face. The worst dialogue in the movie takes place here.....wait no that's all through the whole movie I'm sorry. Basically, Zombies attack cabin, people are inside cabin and torn apart by their inability to work together. Not really to much to go into, I mean I could essentially just take the plot synopsis of "Night of the Living Dead" and leave it at that.
Honestly, while I wasn't this movie's biggest fan, I expected a lot worse. The zombie make up was cooler than most, the acting was awful but not unwatchable. If you're bored and looking for some mindless fun I wouldn't tell you this is a waste of your time. Also apparently you can cut a man in half with a shotgun.......AWESOME!